As I take my bow, and exit....

As i walk across the stage of time, the curtain of what was; falls, and the dimmly lit corridor of past, present, and future memories awaits....

With my heart placed in a heart shaped box, in the form of chocolate, and my soul in the form of a flowered bouquet....

I enter the realm of destiny with prearranged words to say.
Up the staircase slowly with purpose, each step a point in my life time, every creak in the old wood frame a traumatic experience of mine....
But I leave that behind, that old life in the shadows, with my mistress'es misery, and pain, i think this is it yeah; this time its different, I think its time for me to change....
No one has been there as you have for me, you've seen my sturggles,and fought to set me free....
Extending your arms when I fell, pulling me up from the mud, and thuogh we never really said it, i believe it was love...
What else could it be, does it need to be more, I brought you in to my home gave you a key to the door, my entire outlook on life i now see brand new, as i anticipate that new life i'll share with you........
I'm on my floor standing before the door, I turn the knob, and go inside, nervous with excitement, but delighted with joy this will be a great surprise....
I hear laughter and glee, I hope its about me coming from the other room, its been 8 months we make a good pair i hope this isn't too soon....
Theirs more laughter, lots of giggling she must be on the phone with her friend hold on, theirs another voice a deeper voice wait a minute thats a man....
I move toward bedroom were the voices are coming from, and i see them naked embracing each other, what i wanted to say i couldn't say the words just wouldn't come....
My heart died that day as i backed away, and i've never shed a tear, I quietly said good bye and made my way down the stair's, I ended up a mile from where i lived sitting on a park bench, it was raining that day, i was soaked but didn't move an inch....
My heart had been ripped out and crushed , and could never be put back, so i opened the heart shaped box, how ironic the chocolate heart was cracked....
Drenched from head to toe, i considered paying my mother a visit, but then i thought why not walk out in to traffic take a bow and make my exit. - Jac! 

               From Jacmania online- Jac-oholics only(Dark Poetry collection)
                                                                                                            

Banana,Mango,or Ostrich egg

I like not being normal, or what people consider conforming normality, the title of this post says something about me, if you asked me to choose between a Banana,Mango,or a Ostrich egg I'd choose the ostrich egg, why? you ask, not because i want to show that i'm different but because i am, hey look at the photo's i take, I sometimes cringe when i see how every one latches on to the next fad the next new way of butchering the english language, or dressing so they can be like everyone else on pluto.

Different is good, different means you have originality, imagination, and vision anyone can be like everyone else but no one can be like you if you choose to be you. That means knowing what you like to do , knowing what you don't like to do , never giving any one the power to make you feel like you don't matter, and what you find interesting is stupid. Those idiots will only amount to being only what the herd wants them be, but some one with imagination can be so much more.

Remember its easy to walk down the yellow brick road with everyone else to get to the Emerald City, but if you took a different road, and caught a cab you'd get their quicker,( Honestly, I have no Idea what the above statment even means, I just thought it, and wrote it).

Any way your a unique entity, you've got a lot to offer with out being someone else, you may say this is you talking," but I'm boring my best friend says we should dress like JLO,or wear our hair like brad pitt", Fly crap! If everyone decided to be like every celebrity as far as dressing, and behavior this world which is all ready skrewed up would be even more skrewed and beyond help, everyone has something to offer as themselve's you don't need to be a cardboard cut out of someone else.

You know the reason why so many people don't know their selfworth its because no one knows what it means any more, important words with real definitions have been thrown around so casually, no one knows what they really mean anymore, Self worth is more than feeling good about yourself,or respecting others, having empathy for other people,SKREW THAT!, thats not self worth, Self worth is knowing your gifts, and talents, cultivating your abilities, knowing who you are and what you can do respecting,and appreciating who you are, what you can, and can not do,because you have to have, and know that their are bounderies in order to be a complete person who knows their self worth.

One of the Ancient greek thinkers once said  "Know thy self," knowing who you are is the key to knowing just how originally, unique you are, its like this other blogger i follow she's very unique i hope she doesn't loose that originality the blog is called Pen name Bree-Z she's very talented and she's finding her voice, and self worth, so can evry one else , you don't have to be another link in the chain.- Jac!      

Tumbling Down

A heart filled with emptiness,the deepest part of the soul,
The hands that held each other excluding, one who stands alone.
Pretending to look beyond them, but their they are before his eyes, are they really happy he wonders, to feel better he says no its a lie.
Why, why,why not me said over and over even when sleep why can't it be me who turns you on, and shelthers you from the storms.
Never the one their looking for, And he truly wants to be found,So the excluded one stares trying not to be seen as the walls of his life comes tumbling down.
I've givin a name to my pain, A face to my grief laughing on the outside but laughters just skindeep - Jac!

I'M A JERK :P.....

I HAVE SEEN THE INSIDE OF THE EARTH, AND BILL COSBY LIVES THERE ...... EATING JELLO PUDDING.......
Now that i have your attention, Hello everybody.., I'm Jac! "the cat"Sabertooth with something to think about.....HHmmm?

Have you ever wondered why when you were attending school, or if you are in school have you ever scratched your head and asked yourself why is it that the people who are dumber then a hole in the ground with a brick in it, are considered cool, while the people who are capable of forming full sentences, and who will most likely will be hireing the so called cool people,are called "dorks, nerds, geeks, and are made fun of and tormented. It has never made any sense to me, it should be the other way around it should be cool to pursue( for you cool people that means chase..)knowledge, it should.... make you a person to be admired, and copied, raising your hand in class because you know the answer should bring a quiet awe to the class room, not loud laughter, and riddicule. As i said before in a previous posting(shattered,cracked,and Pop) we are soooooo messed up as a nation, how do we expect to develope more einstien's, and steven hawkins when the stars of the classroom can't tell you their name with out a 10 second pause of just saying uuummm,... Come on! if you dont know what your name is, or you can't recite your name within two seconds after being asked you need to be put in the same cage with the chimp that knows sign language maybe it can teach something, because GOD knows the schools can't.

When i was in school, I was involved in both sports and science, i was consider a jock, and a nerd i was....( get ready).. A JERK, both jock and nerd i wasn't the only one their were others, (but we don't care about them this is all about me).

Their shouldn't be this divide in our educational system, look at college's, the atlethic dept. gets more money and support then the departments that actually prepare students, for entry into the real world. I know that its easy for someone to sit at a laptop ( yeah, i have a laptop, top of the line to, never be afraid or ashamed to spend money as long as it gets you closer to your goal..) As i was saying, pointing out or complaining about the state of any social, or cultural problem is kind of tricky, and at times may get you in hotwater,(Which is O.K. with me, because every mourning i get up, I walk off a cliff,"Which is going to be the topic of a post at a later time..) But despite the problems you may encounter when commenting on social, or cultural issues you should still give your opinion(Skrew those who don't like it..).

Back to the topic no where in this country should their ever be a time, or place where intelligence should be riddiculed, or tormented, nor should atlhetic ability, and self inflicted stupidity be placed at the center of the school ground social structure. Intelligence requires creativity, a willingness to search for answers (The root of a scientific mind), and a desire to learn something new, everyone should be willing to do this, try as hard as you must and keep trying, and learning.

This is the basic core of human existance"creativity"to know the unknown, not the lazy mindedness of "I'm not gonna raise my hand i might get embarrassed", or "look at that brainiac over there, he thinks he knows everything, lets get him after class,"this is the wrong way for students to be thinking, if their thinking this("I know they are, it may have been a million years ago but i was a student once":). America needs to,.. if its going to continue its public school system("I don't think it should, it needs to changed") needs to institute a policy were students are praised, and rewarded for their Intellect, and their willingness to speak up and participate ( For the cool kids that means to be a part of the action,) in the classroom. I know some of you are probably saying they already do that, some schools do, but not to the extent that I'm talking about, I'm talking about making this the centerpiece a national educational curriculum and if the teachers, and the teachers union dont like it get rid of them their part of the problem anyway, and if the parents aren't happy with it they should be held accountable because education starts at home.

The popularity pagents that take place in the schools are going to always be there, thats not an issue. But at least let the pagents be based on something more relevant then who can grunt the loudest, or who has the shortest skirt, or most make up on....("Here's some facebook lingo, oh wait a minute" For the cool kids relevant means <Important>...now facebook lingo-OMG this is a very long post SMH ..lol) I just did not feel right typing that... excuse me AAAAAHHHH!!!!! , I'm shaking really bad right now, I'm ending this post now, and I'm going to lay down...omg its just 11am smh AAAAHHH! FACEBOOK LINGO, get out of my head! omg,omg,omg,smh,smh,smh,lol,lol,lol,lmfao,lmfao, make it stop, aaaaahhhhh!!!- Jac!                   

Pay no attention to the one behind the shadow

As i move forward i stop, and look behind, I don't know why theirs nothing in the past i need to find , all i'll ever be is so far ahead of me, and what i once was is gone, so forward i run on. Passing unwanted distractions that are pleasant to the eye, But in reality their a thousand cuts meant to bleed you dry, leaving your heart crushed in a desert wasteland, shifting with no life like the burning sahara sands...

If...always if, i should have we say in past tense, but nothing changes so it makes no sense, I decided to let it go, to leave it all alone, but untying the past from the future has taken so long, A shadow of regret fell upon my eyes, that i lost some time that precious resource of life. No one needs to be glued to a chair reliveing past failures, and glories, that page was turned, the chapter read, its time to start telling a different story...
So i live in reality, and i know there are rough roads ahead, but i'm traveling with new riders my past mistakes are buried dead, theirs so much that i can do, So much that i know, I no longer pay any attention to the one behind The Shadows. - Jac!  

         

Hi, I'm Jac! I'm back, well not really, not yet .

Hey, Meow everybody, I know its been a while since my last post..
I've  been some what busy putting together my two singles, and trying to have them ready for july 15

or august 16, i've been basically multi-tasking composing the music, writing,and re-writing the lyrics

producingeverything plus, writing the script for the cheesy yet creative music video,oh yeah I also

change the name of the band i needed something more flashy, yet powerful . 

 I like the choice i made although im still undecided on the release date, maybe I'll flip a coin or a

homeless man,  just joking,just joking...their to heavey anyway i've been a busy, busy ,

busy beaver, busy bee, busy body ,biz markie, line is busy, im sorry im drifting off ,im just going to

blame that on my short attention span.

But all that aside I got some questions for you:

Some of which may make you mad, some may make you say that make sense....

1. Why do everybody use the So called `N word if its supossed to be an offensive word.Blacks, whites,browns,and asians i've heard every ethnic group use this word , blacks use it as a greeting a term of endearment, whites call each other it, yet anger erupts when whites direct towards some one whos black, im just saying the word has no more of the original meaning because everyone uses it so lets bury it, what do you think?

2. If your in space which way is up and which way is down?

3. Why don't schools teach buisness skills curriculum, you know buisness math, buisness reading, taxes and how to understand them, from 5th grade to 12th can you imagine what this country would look like if we prepared our children properly what do think?

Now lets see...uuuhhhh.., another question...uuuhhh...

4. Ok, im just asking...here we go Nah im not going to ask this one you guys aren't ready for a question like the one i was going to ask. Until next time im going back to my studio now have fun i know i will.-Jac!

Sticks, and stones may break my bones, so please don't throw sticks, and stones .....use words.

Love me!, Like me!, Why can't we be friends!....thaaaaaaats what you say isn't it, come on you know its true. Why do people have this obsessive need to be liked by everyone they meet, needing to be part of a click, part of some social order, some individuals will go out of their way to be nice to people who will never see them as nothing more than a wart on the left butt cheek of the world. AAANNNNNDDDD, Yet they still long to have these self proclaimed kings, and queens of the minor league social life as their friends(I hope those of you reading this post notice that i'm wordsmithing or as its sometimes called wordbuilding,I like to think of myself as a JUGGERNAUGHT of the written word, you know taking these little squiggly, curvey lines, and turning them in to something meaningful, and understandable ,wink,wink, hint,hint, facebook) I was at the store when some guy came up to me, and said he knew me from years back, i told him he must be mistaken, he said no he was sure, he grew up with me he then suggested that we get together at mcdonalds and catch up on old times, I replied (because i did not want to..) sure just let me go get this gun and shoot myself first. He didn't want to talk to me after that, But before he left he did call me several unpleasant names alot were obscene( I know right now most of you are saying ;"I WOULD'VE TO,YOU JERK!!") but my point is i'm not starved for friendship, I dont need anybody to like me, (ok, now because i'm a fair but strict man,i will pretend to be the opposing view point to every thing i just said, and i will do it in BLUE man i bet you guys are saying WOW, this dude is serious"he just gonna and switch'em colahs on us.) Counter person reply:" you lyion you know you want people to like you, eh'body do. If people didn't like you how would you know if  you were handsome,or nice Jac! you dont know what your talk'n bout you qwazee, and you got a big mouth, and think you know evah'thin."  Hi I'm Jac! i'm back, my reply to mr,or mrs counter person is this we are social being this is with out a doubt(Theres that word again with a "B", it has a "B"but its pronounced "dout" come on english!) let me get back on track, just because we are social beings does not mean we have to be a part of every group, organization, hangout, or friendship. Our culture today has people thinking they are nothing unless their part of something other than themselves,I'll try to explain what i mean this way,you are an artist you choose to do project involving apples and oranges so you begin, a fuji apple is an apple its just one, lets say you  have a basket of oranges sitting on a table you decide to put your fuji apple in the basket of oranges so you do now you have a basket filled with oranges and one fuji apple, so now you decide to get a basket and put 5 granny smiths,5 pink ladies,5 goldens,and 5 Delicious apples inside, what do you have you have a pretty heavey basket of apples, but just apples, so someone comes to you someone you really want to be excepted by and says hey that ain't right! Take that apple out of that orange basket, and put it the other apples thats where it needs to be, what do you want people to think your some kind of idiot or freak for doing that you must be wierd or something dont you know the difference stupid. This potential friend of yours calls other potential friends of yours to come over and laugh, make fun of and humiliate your piece of art and you, and once their finished cementing their friendship with you by way of a little light hearted chuckling, they leave.  So you stand there confused asking yourself why don't they like me? not wanting to be called anymore unflattering names you remove the fuji apple and put it with the other apples (shame on you for trying to be different, don't you ever try to be somebody)you calm yourself look accross the room "ohno"their coming back their moving towards you again,you did everything they asked you to do maybe this time they'll be nicer(Their not..), maybe this time they'll let you join in their reindeer games( oh, santa one can only hope) they stop, they point ,they laugh, and walk off , you stand asking what did i do wrong. Nothing, that fuji apple  was still the same  fuji apple even in a basket full of apples, it was still the same apple in a basket full of oranges the props are not what brought the on lookers the placement of the fruit was not what made it different, you are what made the difference and thats why you were made fun of . Your willingness to be an original, my explaination may be long winded, but my point is this you will never be able to please everybody you will alwaysbe called names, and laughed at you have to toughen up take the bitter with the sad, be comfortable with who you are, because unless you can be friends with yourself you can never be friends with anyone else. So let them talk, and be you for you, its so much more easier then trying to remember who your pretending to be, so fakers can like you - Jac!